Warning: Product as Advertised

Ah, government regulations. The government keeps trying to save us from our own stupidity in so many ways! Thanks to food allergy regulations, we get labels that look like this:
"Hazelnut spread with cocoa
Made with skim milk"

And on the back:
"Contains: Milk and hazelnuts."

You don't say. Gee, I just thought they called it that because it sounded good.

Washing Machine Safety

Wow, I'm glad they told me. And here I thought it would be a great way to save labor on washing my kids. Well, maybe I'll have to use it for my dog. Or my cat. I bet he'd really love it!